A good picture for Acceptance: feel the divergences & think how to deal with

How should Acceptance be defined? A definition should be as the ability to accept positively different behaviors and ideas.  Ok, and what does it mean in the real life?

In the Leadership Development course, that I am attending as an MBA student, in a lecture was analyzed and practiced the one-to-one communication and that day I saw this meaningful picture:

Acceptance_modFor me was illuminating: I found a great metaphor for Acceptance in the each day life. How? I will try to explain you.

In the communication there are the following actors: you with your values, the other with his\her values and the message.

In the picture the values are represented by the ground, a field in which each one of us feels himself comfortable. Someone likes to run in a field of green grass, someone else likes to run in the sand and other likes mountain landscapes just because we are different!

The world is the message of the communication that is made by the content (what is said) and the context (how is said) like the non-verbal communication: gestures, postures, volume of the voice, tone, rhythm,…

So, how should Acceptance be achieved by the actors that are playing the communication comedy (or drama, it depends)?

Well, Acceptance will lead an effective communication that means floating in the air in a perfect harmony and balance without touching each actor: you and your believes, the other and their believes and the message (content + context).

Nice words, but how such a harmony should be achieved?

Usually, an issue in the communication process is due to two different kind of negative reactions: “I am NOT OK” or “You are NOT OK”. (see also Thomas A. Harris and Transactional Analysis).

Thus, there are two requirements, as showed in the figure,  needed in order to establish an effective communication:

  1. Respect yourself: how? By leaving for a while you comfortable ground made by your values, believes and habits, but not too much in order to still remember who you are. So, leave also a pair of shoes in you ground! Moreover, respect yourself by also feeling involved without been touched as a person by the message (the world) if this is not a direct and explicit attack to your ground (your values). This means avoid judgments and asking for clarification\feedback. Continue reading